Narcissism is a well-known personality disorder characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. However, what many people may not realise is that there are different types of narcissists, including the shadow narcissist, also known as the covert narcissist.
While the more overt, grandiose narcissist tends to be loud, boastful, and attention-seeking, the covert narcissist operates in a more subtle and sneaky manner. They are masters of manipulation, using passive-aggressive behaviour, emotional manipulation, and gaslighting to control and manipulate those around them. They may appear shy, introverted, and even self-deprecating on the surface, but underneath lies a deep-seated sense of entitlement and superiority.
One of the key characteristics of a shadow narcissist is their ability to play the victim. They may paint themselves as the misunderstood or mistreated one in a situation, using guilt and pity to manipulate others into doing their bidding. They may also engage in covert tactics, such as spreading rumours, sabotaging relationships, or undermining others, all while maintaining a facade of innocence and humility.
Unmasking a covert narcissist can be difficult, as they are skilled at covering their tracks and manipulating those around them. However, there are some red flags to watch out for. They may be overly critical of others, have a sense of entitlement, lack empathy, and be overly sensitive to criticism. They may also exhibit a lack of accountability for their actions and constantly seek validation and admiration from others.
If you suspect that someone in your life may be a shadow narcissist, it’s important to set boundaries and protect yourself from their manipulative tactics. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist, and consider distancing yourself from the toxic individual if necessary. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and no one has the right to manipulate or control you for their own selfish gain.
In conclusion, the shadow narcissist may hide behind a facade of humility and innocence, but underneath lies a manipulative and controlling individual. By recognising the signs of covert narcissism and setting boundaries, you can protect yourself from their toxic behaviour and maintain healthy relationships in your life. Remember, you are worthy of love, respect, and understanding, and no one has the right to take that away from you.














